which way is up?

By Hayley Morgan •  Updated: 06/27/14 •  3 min read

brave

To be honest, I’ve been living upside down for the past two years. Did you know, I have a son who for his WHOLE LIFE has never had the mother I consider to be “me” in my rightside up self?

But, when you’ve been upside down for so long, is that just your real self now? Is neglecting to understand that this has become your new life kind of like neglecting to realize you haven’t changed your hairstyle since high school and now YOU are the lady you used to giggle at as a teenager?

I think in this stage of life (no longer newly married, with lots of young children), the turning over of new soil happens so regularly it can be difficult to know which way is up. We have new kids starting new schools every stinking year. We have babies growing out of clothes, we have kids potty training, we have young hearts that grow in both understanding and demands every day.

And, at the same time, Mike’s heart has been changing and my heart has been changing. We are growing into ourselves, having spent the last almost 10 years of adulthood learning what we don’t love and what we do. We are unwilling to say weak yeses when those yeses compromise our time, our energy, and our hopes for the future.

We need to be strong in our no so we can be brave with our yes (quote from Emily Freeman, the lady who puts solid words to most of my thoughts).

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My brave yes is going to be growing up soon. Mike and I will be traveling to see the samples of our fall capsule wardrobe for kids. We’ll be tweaking them and making them perfect for you. This is straight up crazy, but I’m tired of buying junk sewn up by children in dubious places just so I can buy a cheap pair of jeans for my kid. I care about children, ALL children, and my kids won’t wear cheap skinny jeans at the expense of another mother’s child.

To do this, to pursue this, our family will have to make sacrifices. It’s an expensive endeavor. It’s risky. It’s going to require me to get over the fear of asking people to catch my vision. That fear, it’s all about me anyway. It’s my people pleasing, no wave making self preoccupation. And, I wouldn’t want to live in a way that would encourage any other woman (OR MY BOYS) to believe that playing it small is righteous selflessness. It’s not.

In July, I’m going to ask for you to catch my vision. It’s going to be massively uncomfortable for me, but it’s important. I’m going to have to put myself out there and sell myself so that we aren’t selling the childhood innocence of children across the globe.

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So, let’s live a brave yes. Let’s help others live theirs. Will you come along with me? Let’s be brave, yeah?