I am a planner. I like plans. I like being intentional, and I like making good choices and decisions. Blame it on my first born tendencies, I certainly did for a long while. But, I think a lot of this fact is that I am afraid to fail. I am afraid to make less than perfect decisions. I don’t want to just make good decisions, I want to make perfect decisions.
I live in a world of affluent Dave Ramsey advocates and Master’s educated influencers. I live in a world of good Christian men and women who are active and prominent in our community. I live in a world of sky high expectation, to say the least.
But, the one who expects the most of me is…me. I am a good girl. I like to make pretty and nice like a good girl. I would hate to be thought less of because of a hypothetical big mistake (or bad choice) I may make. That’d be my pride talking. And also my lack of Grace for myself (and others, if we really want to be honest…).
That is why adventure is good for me. The little adventures in life leave room to fail. Failing at a new craft or a small and kind of silly plan is palatable and good practice for the inevitable life failures.
I ordered this book, Grace for the Good Girl by Emily Freeman. She is the awfully sweet little sis of my good friend the Nester. But, I think Emily may as well be my twin–because her words echo loud in the walls of my heart. I can’t wait to let her words soak in (and I get to hear her speak at Relevant in October!).
By going out on a limb, taking small leaps, and figuring it out as I go–I make room in my heart for failure. I prove to myself that the world keeps spinning, the no one notices, that there.is.still.love. Go easy on your sweet self if you struggle like I do. Take a small leap today…it’s the only way to learn.