one skill to learn to relax

By Hayley Morgan •  Updated: 01/22/14 •  3 min read

I said last week that I’d be talking more about the ways I “mother myself” and those around me. This is the single most important thing I learned when figuring out to care for myself well. It reminds me of a baby learning to self-soothe. They create rhythms and patterns that are comforting to them. That’s what I’m talking about here!

The biggest thing I do to mother myself is to make a nest. It’s simple, it’s fast, and it has the effect of making me feel super cared for. I’m not sure if it’s universal, but it sure helps the men in my house and my best buds, too.

Making a nest is the simplest thing ever. First, you have a place. This is the place your nest is always made. It needs to be the same place (or one of a couple places) so that your brain can get into the groove of rest and care. You want it to become such a lovely place that when you make your nest, your brain goes straight into “repair mode”.

Then, you have a blanket that is your fave and spells comfort to you. I have 2 “nest blankets” that I love. One is my comforter from college (a cheapo Target comforter, but the twin size is better than throw size!) and the other is a blanket I made for Mike’s birthday with my great-grandmother early on in our dating years. It’s heavy and WONDERFUL. I grab whichever blanket is the closest and cleanest! :) Let’s be honest, with 4 boys–we wash blankets a LOT around here.

The pillow is important, too, so grab one you love. If you don’t have a pillow you love, I suggest you make that a mission this year. Find a pillow you love, and preferably from a manufacturer that is long-standing. You want to be able to replace it when the original wears out.

So, at this point, if I were making a normal weeknight nest for Mike and I–I’d throw his favorite pillow on one end of the couch and my favorite pillow on the other. Then, I’d spread out a favorite blanket (or grab both if we didn’t feel like sharing!). Finally, I grab a treat to eat and a drink to sip on. This is important and it’s great if you have something that feels a touch special. I’ll grab a favorite snack of Mike’s if I’m at the grocery and grab a ginger ale, too, because he loves ginger ale.

And, because once you are cozy in your nest, you’ll want to stay there all night–something to read or the Apple TV remote are essential. :)

Basically, creating a nest is all about making a cozy spot that reminds and invites your brain and your body to rest. It’s a special treat to end the evening or a haven for your child to recharge. In our house, it’s important that it’s easy to set up and put away, so we keep it simple. But, it’s easy to tailor for yourself!

I’m big on creating tiny “environments” that trigger my brain to feeling a specific way when it comes to self-care or “mothering myself”. I light a particular candle when it’s time to write. I use fun cleaning products so I’ll hate cleaning slightly less. I use lavender oil in my shower to have a moment of calm.

How do you trick your brain into recharging? Do you have any brilliant or even silly simple ideas to share? I’m all ears!!

one skill to learn to relax