giving up on good

noahgrad-web

Last night was preschool graduation.  I was the mom who signed up to bring cups and napkins.  I didn’t get the admiration and accolades for bringing an artful dessert I found on Pinterest.  I didn’t plan any elaborate decorations.  I didn’t even mix up a powdery and sugary jug of lemonade.

I brought Solo red plastic cups and napkins–although, those napkins did have caps and gowns on them.  ;)  We swung by Target to grab them real quick, no pomp no circumstance.

Although it would have been a nice stroke to my momma ego to bring amazing and crafty snacks or homemade party decor, I just am not that mom.  I keep things ridiculously easy when it comes to the things I commit to.  Because, although my kid is a top priority in my life…what we eat at his preschool graduation is not.

Now, I do love the thought and care that went into the program.  It was sincere and it was darling and it was full of kid-ness.  I especially love his teacher, because her attitude is so fuss-free herself.  She works with 5 year olds, after all…she’d lose her mind if she sought perfection all the time.

So, for me–I just want you to know, I will never show up dressed to the nines with a homemade pie in hand.  Those of you that do, I admire you…but the thought of doing it myself makes me tired.  I think that’s how I know I’m not called to take on certain things.  I think that’s how we all know…when deep down it makes us uneasy and anxious.

I know that I am more apt to do things when they aren’t full of fuss. I love entertaining as long as you’re fine with eating what we have (or what we can order real quick!). I will never be the kind of woman that has elaborate get togethers–I’ve accepted this about myself. I think it’s okay to realize who you are and sometimes more importantly, who you are not.

Add your link below to be part of the little Internet revolution of being honest about what we don’t do. Also! Head over to see what Jessi wrote about today!

 

28 Comments

  • Reply May 17, 2012

    HopeUnbroken

    love this, hayley!
    and i’m the same. no fuss, no frills. . . although i love to admire and appreciate the ones who are gifted at making the pretty stuff. it takes all of us to make for a colorful world!
    steph

    • Reply May 17, 2012

      Tiny Twig

      yes! i so admire those who are natural at making things lovely and complex. i used to do stuff like that–but i think it showed that i was striving. i feel much more “ok” with who i am now…and plus, Pinterest does kind of steal the thunder when you make something that once would have been “unique” and “creative”. ;)

  • I am enjoying this series. We can’t do everything, and we shouldn’t. I was commenting to my husband the other day that it seems like so many bloggers not only blog, but they also etsy.=) And are phenomenal photographers, to boot, Frankly, I do neither. Even a blind person wouldn’t call my pictures photographs.=) And I rather not “craft”. I sew, but I am not into doing it for a business, you know? I’d rather read, or write, or cook. And my version of “fancy dessert” is one that takes less than an hour. Not way more time than it takes to consume. I am so glad that God gave us each different hearts and talents. It does make for a much more varied world. Thanks for giving us the opportunity to show can’t and don’t do it al solidarity.

    • Reply May 18, 2012

      Tiny Twig

      I love that we’re on the same page in this. :) BUT, i have to say, my idea of a fancy dessert is anything with more than 3 steps or that requires more than 10 minutes of active participation. :) :)

  • Reply May 17, 2012

    Kristen

    I am loving this “giving up on good” series! So much pressure sometimes…not necessarily always from others but what I place on myself, too. God has certainly created us all differently, and it takes all types to make the world go round, right? :) I’d rather put my energy into a few things that I love and am good at (or want to be better at) than spreading myself (and my kids!) too thin. Thanks for this.

    • Reply May 18, 2012

      Tiny Twig

      This is a process I’m constantly working on. It’s such a refining sort of thing–realizing what we ARE gifted at and what we are NOT gifted at. :) I am starting to learn what to say no to so that I don’t end up an anxious mess.

  • I love your comment that the thought of doing some things makes you feel tired – that’s how I feel when I think of doing elaborate birthday parties for my kids. I see what others do and I think it looks pretty and fun, but I know that there is know way I would do that.

    How boring would it be if we all liked and did the same things?

    • Reply May 18, 2012

      Tiny Twig

      i’m there on the elaborate birthday parties! i used to do it, but i just can’t imagine keeping that up for however many years with however many kids! freeeeedom!

  • Reply May 17, 2012

    Jennifer Campbell

    Yet again, you take an idea that’s been floating around in my head for awhile and give it substance! Not only can I not do it all, I DON’T WANT to do it all. I gave testimony to that over the past month by giving away $200 worth of scrapbooking supplies- because, while it’s a lovely idea, I don’t have the time, and even though I love the finished book, I don’t really enjoy scrapbooking. I also sold my more expensive sewing machine, and took my cheaper one that’s been with me for the long haul in to be serviced. I need to face that even though I LOVE to sew, I simply don’t have the time.

  • This totally resonates with me. I want to be helpful and volunteer to bring goodies and such, but they need not be perfect :) Thanks for the encouragement!

  • Reply May 17, 2012

    Jessica Zigenis

    Preach it girl! ; ) As I enter into my late twenties, I’m finally picking up on this: it’s okay to not do it all. God has me called to specific things. I have specific talents. And what I’m finally realizing is that if I attempt to do it all, I stop doing even my talents well. Thanks for this reminder today!

  • Reply May 17, 2012

    17 Perth

    I get it. Completely. I am the solo girl too. Years later–your son won’t remember the dessert you did or didn’t bring or the cups you did or didn’t bring–but he will remember the things you said to him and the presence you had together. :)

  • Reply May 17, 2012

    Heidi

    Girl, I just love your sweet heart! I feel the exact same way you do! I think people sometimes get too worked up in the “perfected details” of a situation and event and completely miss what is truly important! Thanks for keeping it real and for being completely ok with who you are! You are AWESOME and God is using you in many great ways! Have a happy day! Heidi

  • Reply May 17, 2012

    Missy G.

    Ha, I just realized that I gave up on something this week and didn’t think about it until reading this post. I dropped off two of hubby’s work pants at the tailor’s because I realized that I just did not have the time to fix that ripped seam or find and then sew on a button. It was much easier to just drop them off and support a local business, instead of feeling guilty that they are still sitting in my “to sew” pile. Thank you for this series!

  • Reply May 17, 2012

    Bronwyn

    Every morning when I wake up and see your Tiny Twig email in my inbox I so look forward to reading it with my cup of coffee. You have blessed me, allowed God to speak to me gently (and sometimes loudly!) and often I find myself with tears rolling down my cheeks as I read one of your posts and I know that that is the Holy Spirit softening my heart and moulding me, letting me know that it is ok that I am not perfect, that I am ok just as I am because my heart is right.
    Thank you for your blog from a mother in New Zealand, you touch my life so much and I appreciate you.

  • Reply May 17, 2012

    Virginia

    I am not the dessert-bringing momma or hostess either. I usually stop by Meijer and grab my famous chocolate chip cookies ;) Love what you and Jessi are doing! I stopped my shop at the end of the year for this reason. Not enough time to make things the quality I’d like (including family time). My house is never spotless nor my laundry done. I’m grateful for a wonderful husband who encourages me to get outside and do things that matter with my kiddos (& take a bit of time to write & read.)

  • I feel so validated to know I’m not the only woman that enjoys simplicity (or no fuss). Of course, I have my areas that people may think are going all out, but for me they’re nothing and take no effort. I guess I should remember that when I say “wow, look at how her and her family look and their amazing contribution.” Because either {a} they’re worn- and stressed-out because of it, or {b} that’s an area that comes naturally for them. Either way, comparing isn’t fair.

    That’s a long way of saying, good for you for taking “just” red cups and napkins. There are plenty of other ways you go above and beyond! Oh, and congrats to your little go on “graduating” :) Too cute!

  • Reply May 18, 2012

    Sandy a la Mode

    omg preschool graduation!? he’s a big boy now!!!

  • Reply May 18, 2012

    Rachel Baxtet

    I am giving up on claiming that I am a mama that does it all on my own, b/c I am not and I don’t even like to raise my kids alone. I love the village that helps me raise them and bet the mom that I want to be. Hope you enjoy this post! !http://thebaxternews.blogspot.com/2012/05/it-takes-village.html

  • Reply May 20, 2012

    Hannah Mayo

    I am so with you! I love your point about us not being called to the things that make us anxious. I think in the past at times I have beaten myself up about my anxiety over certain things like this (feeling inadequate next to the people who do them like it’s second nature), rather than seeing that it is simply not part of my personality and I was meant to do something else.

  • I love this! There is a part of me that is no fuss and another part of me that is a whole lot of fuss! But I think what resonates with me is to decide when it is actually worth to go to all the fuss…and when it is not! No one is going to remember what was eaten at preschool graduation and I appreciate that you chose peace of mind over impressing! Encouraging words!

  • Reply May 20, 2012

    Amanda

    I love this post, Hayley! I am known as the girl/mom among my friends who will decorate for a party with fun things but maybe…..forget the food? Haha! They always laugh about that but understand it’s not my thing. I’m sometimes envious of the ones who can bake or create some absolutely amazing things, but this year my son was in Kindergarten and I purposely pulled back from a lot of duties (including fussy ones) just so I could be there for him. I drove on every single field trip and helped in his classroom every single Tuesday (with my 3 yr old daughter in tow.) I don’t regret one time that I didn’t sign up for something that was unnecessary, because instead I was spending time with him at every chance I had. :) And that’s my short & sweet response because honestly….school’s finally out and I’m tired tonight. Ha!

  • Reply May 20, 2012

    Kristen

    Ah, what a lovely, freedom-calling post! I do love to bake, but I am selective about when I do it and what for. And guess what I brought to my 2nd grader’s end-of-year picnic last week? Trash bags. Good ol’ Hefty trash bags for cleanup. Ha!

    Great post, Hayley!

  • Reply May 21, 2012

    Ashleigh Baker

    Ah, what freedom! I’m constantly fighting my own desire for perfection, trying to allow myself to enjoy relationship rather than perform. I’m good with bringing the plastic cups or sending in a box of cookies rather than homemade, but if you’re coming to my house and it doesn’t look magazine ready, I’m still likely to freak out. Thanks for the further inspiration to relax, Hayley!

  • Reply May 21, 2012

    Annie

    I adored this! I love to do things for others, but as a working madre, I can’t always show up with the homemade anything! I’m a horrible cook/baker and it is not my gift. Thank you dearly for sharing this! It has inspired me to not be so hard on myself about not taking a homemade meal to ever person I know that has a baby. I love that you are sharing what you don’t do! I will absolutely join you in this adventure!

  • Reply May 21, 2012

    Bonny

    Love this blog series! Thanks for pointing me towards freedom from perfectionism. Why, oh why, do I seek it when I only know it bonds me to an expectation I can’t keep up with? No one can.

    Happy to join in on this link up :)
    http://www.yourstrulybw.blogspot.ca/2012/05/im-giving-up-on-good.html

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