the post that is hard to write

asher-end

I had a funny feeling when the blooms began to pepper the branches this year.  It was hazy like a dream, but familiar like I’d been there before.  Getting close to the day Asher came.

I’ve had many moments like that over the past year.  De’ja vu in a way, like your senses remember.

It takes a full 365 days to cycle through a year.  It’s been 365 (and only because of Leap Year) since Asher was born–his first birthday is on Saturday.

We awaited Asher like some people await the mailman.  Like, sure, there are probably good things coming in the mail–but the mail comes all the time, same song different verse.  As our third boy in less than 5 years, we presumed to know how the whole process would transpire.

Boys to grandparents, parents to hospital, baby born, siblings meet, mom recovers, baby and parents go home–life back to normal…barely a beat skipped.  The rest of the world surely keeps turning.

But, on Cinco de Mayo 2011, Asher Brax surprised us being born a full 4 weeks early.  The labor was fast and furious, barely time to get everyone where they needed to be before he came.

But come he did.  He was healthy and happy…at first.  But, then…

I did not expect him to go into Septic Shock.  People die on Grey’s Anatomy from Septic Shock.  What started out as grunty, wet lungs (which has been normal for my very quickly delivered babies) proved to be congenital pneumonia.  That pneumonia took days to show on X-Rays, but in the meantime the infection spread like wildfire through his body.  Not even 12 hours after he was born with perfect Apgars, he was on a paralytic and a ventilator being rushed by ambulance to a more specialized hospital.  Apparently, newborns don’t localize infection well.

asher ready for transport to another hospital

I now know what it feels like to “rend your garments”.  I know that your body can viscerally and innately respond–what it feels like to be so in your body and so out of body at the same time.  I felt that when the neonatologist on the transfer team answered my question “But, he’s going to be okay right?” with a quick and honest answer.  “We hope so, but newborns don’t always survive this.  He is in shock and his organs are shutting down.”

we weren’t allowed to touch or even talk near him

My instinct was to get as close to the ground as possible, face pressed hard against the cold linoleum floor.  The world was spinning, like an emotional loss of control.  I couldn’t contain the sobs that racked my body.  All rational thought had left me at that point.  My eyes swelled and tears were made even more abundant from the bags of IV fluid I’d gotten hours before.  I literally cried an enormous pool on the hospital floor.

Our sweet Asher, he’s okay now.  He spent almost 3 weeks in the NICU, the first 5 days of the stay being extremely critical.

even light would cause him to destabilize

I think it was God’s good grace that the neonatologist assigned to his case the first day in the NICU spoke very little and very thickly accented English.  I couldn’t mine his speech patterns for hidden meaning behind the words.  He didn’t explain every single medical worry, because there wasn’t time.  I wouldn’t have understood him had there been.  I was comforted by his brusque take-charge attitude.

you wouldn’t know it, but he was improving a lot by this point

I was oddly and transcendentally calm that first day, the peace that surpasses understanding.

Asher was so sick.  He barely moved at all.  His nurse, a 28 year NICU veteran, daily fought to have him handled as little as possible.  She turned off all extraneous beeps and bells, allowing him quiet.  She stood fast in her opinion that he needed calm, he needed peace, and he needed time to heal.  She stood up to doctors wanting to be aggressive in their treatments, asking that they give him more time on the vent, more time on the morphine, more time on the dopamine, more time to recover.

It was a delicate mix of medications that kept our baby alive long enough to allow the antibiotics time to battle the infection.  I am enormously thankful for medical intervention–and am no longer cavalier about the miracle of conception, pregnancy, birth, or really life at all.

finally able to hold my sweet boy, all of the wires are in the blanket (the nurses are pros at making it FEEL normal!)

Husband called the NICU each night before bed to see how our littlest boy was doing.  One night, in the most intimate Compassion, we found out that a girl Husband went to high school with had asked to be Asher’s nurse on overnights (I forget exactly how she knew it was our family, I believe she saw a family picture I brought in to put in Asher’s little cubicle).  She would tell us how our sweet guy was doing and would assure us that she was praying while we were sleeping.  She prayed while we slept.  She prayed through the night so we could sleep.  Truly…the comfort.  The most precious and intimate attention from God.

I still endure flashbacks of the events of Asher’s birth and illness.  I don’t know if a mother ever forgets moments like that.  It is natural when you go through a miracle to have the sparkle and shine of that miracle wear off after awhile.

Not so with sweet Asher.  Daily, I look at Asher, my little Ebenezer and thank God for His Faithfulness.  Grief births joy in God’s economy.  Peace enters the unlikeliest spaces.  Grace extends in tiny and life-changing ways.

 

75 Comments

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Jen

    This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story. Praising God with you this weekend!

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Emma

    So beautiful Hayley. Thanks for your transparency, and for writing the “hard post”. I love the way you describe your senses bring your back (even to difficult memories) – I find that so true too. This resonates – we are at the two year mark past a difficult season – and I am sometimes rendered speechless at the strength of my emotion even after that time.
    A very happy 1st birthday to Asher!

  • Oh, Hayley. WHAT a story. It must have been so hard to write; thank you for sharing it here.

    Those pictures are heartbreaking. Your poor baby! And now it’s amazing how his chubby little almost-one-year self is just as cute and healthy as he can be.

    I have a little Ebenezer running around my house, too–my little boy that I came very close to losing to childhood cancer, and you express my experience so well:
    “Grief births joy in God’s economy. Peace enters the unlikeliest spaces. Grace extends in tiny and life-changing ways.”

    Wishing you the best of birthday celebrations this weekend.

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Erin @ Home with the Boys

    Praising God for the miracle that is Asher’s life! I remember when you first told his ame so everyone could cry out to God specifically for him and now to be celebrating #1! Happy birthday Asher! And what a beautiful post to celebrate him and our great God!

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Kelly

    Man I remember this last year soooo vividly but your recap brings it back to my hearts mind. How gracious the Lord has been in sparing Asher and bringing you guys into a deeper place of faith because of it. So thankful for your transparency to others during such a tremendously difficult trial. You allowed others to really pray and interceed and that is precious in the Kingdom to link arms in prayer for one another.

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Christie Elkins

    Amen to grace and protection! God has big plans for Asher!! My second son was born at 36 weeks, came quickly as well. It’s funny, when you have 3 kids in 4 years, you begin to believe you know what to expect. I am there today, with you. God’s plans are always a surprise! Thankful He holds our hand :)

  • Haley, I still remember so well that time and how hard we were all praying for you. Seeing Sweet Asher smiling in this post brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful post. xo

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Heather

    This is beautifully written Hayley. I can understand the feeling of “here we go again” same ole same ole…with the 3rd (and 4th). Can’t imagine going through what God brought you through. You should consider linking up with our Ebenezer stories at DoNotDepart,..can’t remember when the link up is but definitely this month. (hugs) friend!

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    steph

    hayley,
    thanks for sharing such sweetness. . . both in the grief and the grace. and a happy birthday to that sweet, smiling boy. what a cutie!!!
    knowing He holds us through it all,
    steph

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Maggie S.

    What a vivid picture of true life events! As a doula, I am in awe of the miracles that happen and how blessed we are to live in a time such interventions are possible.

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Charissa Steyn

    wow. God is so so so SO good!! and your little boy is just perfect!!

  • Oh, Hayley, you’re making me cry this morning. My son, my first born, my baby conceived after years of trying, had to go to the NICU immediately after his birth. I couldn’t hold him or even touch him. Actually I couldn’t even see him for hours other than a blurry form they flashed by me as they whisked him upstairs. I’d had a c-section after laboring for 2 days, and I spent the first hours post-delivery crying alone in my room, while my husband was with the baby in the NICU (I told him to go there, and be with the baby.)

    Once I’d finally recovered enough to sit up in a wheelchair they took me to his side, and I was so brokenhearted that I couldn’t touch him. Nothing about having a baby had been like I’d hoped and dreamed.

    He ended up recovering quickly, and only spent 5 days in the NICU before we were able to come home. He’s completely healthy now and will be 3 in July, but I’ve still never been able to write a post with his birth story (I think this is the most I’ve ever written about it.) It still makes me cry, as did your story. Thanks for sharing it.

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Bernadette

    What a beautiful, heartfelt reminder of your trial, and God’s grace. Wow! It made me cry! I have a 10-1/2 month old, and was picturing being in your shoes. Thank you for sharing

  • Thanks for sharing your heart.

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Mackenzie

    Wow, this was so beautiful and painful at the same time. I’m so glad for your family that he is doing well now, but I can’t imagine going through that at the time. God sure does give us grace when we need it. Reading about how your friend asked to be the nurse and prayed for him…that is so like Jesus. I bet his birthday celebration will be amazing! :)

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    aubrey

    Oh, I can hardly read this post without my emotions taking me right back to our critical situation we had with one of our girls. I can still smell and “feel” the NICU if I close my eyes. That picture of Asher getting ready to be transported…we have that same picture but with Theia. It’s an emotional ride for sure. But like you, thankful to say she is completely fine now. Thanks for sharing your story. And happy birthday to your sweet boy!

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Sarah James

    I too have had a NICU baby. Our story was a bit different than the majority, but still, there is NOTHING that compares to the feelings in your gut during those times. I was touched by your story… Hearing it brings back floods of memories of my own; seeing that God provided a prayer warrior for Asher to comfort your hearts so you could rest…wow! God is amazing and peace is refreshment. I’m glad you shared this today. Happy Birthday sweet little Asher!!! I continue to look forward to getting to know you better. :) I pray God’s grace into your life today.

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Annie

    Starting my day with tears in my eyes as I read about His goodness to you all, and nodding to His joy, peace, hope birthed in all these unlikely places. So glad you shared here, Hayley. And Happy Birthday little Asher!

  • Wow, incredible story. And what an adorable little guy!! Happy celebrating!

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Kristen

    What a beautiful story of God’s mercy on your precious Asher! Praising the Lord with you (through tears) at his goodness in celebrating his first birthday this weekend!

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Shandra

    Through a myriad of social networks God opened your website specifically for me to read today. While I do not share in your experience, God equated your story with mine through His gentle and loving narration through your words. I just had to tell you that your story has spoken beyond the realm of physical birth and into the story of rebirth in Christ for me. Sometimes healing of the heart is just as delicate a process as a helpless newborn lying in wait of healing from our heavenly Father. Thank you “tiny twig”. You have blessed me.

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    BrownThumbMama

    Oh Hayley. I’m sitting at my desk at work, bawling, as I read this. Thank you for sharing your story. He is such a precious little peanut!

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Bree

    Absolutely brought tears to my eyes. What a beautifully written post. I could literally feel your fear. I am so grateful that your little boy is well now. Blessings!

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Carolynn

    I’ve never commented on a site like this before, but your story is almost EXACTLY like my own for our 3rd child!
    She was full term, but born with Meconium Aspiration Syndrome, and within 5 hours of her birth she was intubated and in a NICU transport unit to a Level IIIB nicu unit. She also developed Obstructive Lung Disease. She spent the next 10 days completely paralyzed and on an oscillating ventilator. Such similarities- the nurses, the quiet… I got to hold her for the first time at 10 days old. She had to be weaned off of the morphine and learn how to eat , and finally after 21 days she got to go home. She’s an amazing healthy 2 year old now- but I think about it almost every day, and try to never take them for granted! Thanks!

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    kelly

    beautifully written…. congratulations on his Birthday!

  • Oh, Haley. I can only just imagine, hearing those words, that your baby might not make it … I can only imagine how you would just want to get as close to the floor as you could … would want to be just laid out, wailing to God for your child’s life. I am nearly sobbing just thinking about it. Oh, friend.

    Glory to God for His healing ways and for attending to YOU as you continue to heal from those terrifying days.

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Jess C

    The Lord is mighty within you.
    And mighty in Asher.
    I’m proud of you and blessed by you.

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Rebecca Stewart

    “Grief births joy in God’s economy.” Yes, it does, and it’s a blessing to hear that reminder from a Christian sister. My nearly-6-week-old daughter has been completely healthy since birth, but I have had a difficult emotional recovery the past month. Our God is good, though, and mighty to heal. Thank you for the reminder, and I’m praising the Lord for your sweet boy’s life today!

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Angie P

    Oh, Hayley, those are indeed the hard posts to write. I had my twin daughters at 33 by emergency c-section and they spent 23 days in the NICU. It got to the point where I cried every time the NICU pediatrician even walked into my room because it meant one more procedure, one more decision to be made, one more hurdle to jump over….The nurses, on the other hand, were an absolute God send. They came to the girls’ b-day party for years and we still keep in touch. Amazing people.

  • What a trauma your family has experienced. And? What a victory. Praise God. xoxo

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Johanna

    Glory. to. God.

    And – Happy birthday, sweet Asher.

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Jennifer Campbell

    Girl… I shed so many tears- some for you, and what you had to go through… and some out of selfishness. I wish I could have gone through what you went through, and still have any of the three babies I’ve had to bury. Isn’t that selfish? Anyway- Happy Birthday Asher. I’m so glad God decided to let your mommy and daddy keep you. I know their lives are blessed because you’re around. <3 you Hayley!

  • Reply May 4, 2012

    Renee

    I’m a postpartum nurse (mom & baby) and I just wanted to say thank you for telling your story. I’m sure it’s hard to write it, to relive it outside of your mind, but I know that God will bless your words and bless those who read your words.

  • Reply May 5, 2012

    Sarah

    Hayley — such a treasure to see God’s faithfulness through this story. Praising God right along with you that Asher is well today.

  • Reply May 5, 2012

    MaySze

    Hello Hayley,
    I’m very grateful that you have shared your story. I’m a neonatal nurse in London. Your Asher photos reflect scenes that I encounter every day in my job. I love my job, as a neonatal nurse. I truly see that every newborn, regardless what colour they are, is gift and blessing from HIM. I know that there are alot of mothers reading your story and encouraged. I’m not a mother. But, I’m encouraged to see how God moved in the least expected way, even though medical human knowledge told us differently. Looking at Asher’s big smile on the last photo, I’m encouraged to keep doing my job at the best I can for those little blessings. I truly pray that I can be a vessel for HIM, to bring blessing and even healing to them.

    Thanks once again for your sharing.

    God bless

  • Reply May 6, 2012

    Sarah

    Oh, my goodness. The need to be as close to the floor as possible…that line has me sobbing. It strikes me somewhere deep inside my soul, and all three of my babies have been born healthy and stayed healthy. I guess my mother’s heart can only imagine. What a scary, scary time, and what a testimony to God’s mercy and grace that your sweet Asher is celebrating his birthday this weekend. Your blog blesses me on so many levels. Thank you for writing.

  • I echo the others who thank you for putting these words out there. What a difference a year can make, right? Some years seem to fly by, leaving little to no trace of their existence upon us and some … some write themselves so deeply within our stories that we are forever changed by them.

    Oh, that gorgeous toothy grin in the last photo! I wish there were some way to go back in time and show it to you a year ago.

    Celebrate! This one year birthday is a special one, indeed!

  • Reply May 6, 2012

    Amanda

    I cried when I read this. Happy Birthday to your little boy Asher!

  • Reply May 6, 2012

    Lauren Ashley

    such a beautiful story…and perfectly told. definitely didn’t get through this without the tears!

  • […] off, thank you a million times over for your heartfelt and precious comments about Asher and his first days.  We celebrated like crazy grinning fools this weekend, all the while knowing that even had Asher […]

  • Reply May 8, 2012

    kate

    Thank you for sharing your story and a very Happy Birthday to your precious little boy!

  • Reply May 9, 2012

    tahnie

    thank you so much for sharing your heart and your faith! i am a believer in miracle as i am one! ;)

  • Reply May 9, 2012

    Linda

    That is so beautiful, what a miracle he is.

  • Reply May 9, 2012

    Amy

    Wow…I just came across your website and read this entry. I can’t help but cry. I had a similar experience except I was the one that went into septic shock after giving birth to my now two-year-old daughter. I was scared and felt helpless as I’m sure you did, but I am so glad it was me who got sick. I’m sorry this happened to you and your family. It certainly does put everything into perspective. Thank you for sharing.

  • Reply May 9, 2012

    meghan

    “Grief births joy in God’s economy”. I have never heard it said as true and piercing as you did. Thank you for those words tonight.

  • Reply May 10, 2012

    Mary

    Hello! I am a level 111 NICU nurse and wanted to say thank you for sharing Asher’s story. We NICU nurses, myself included, love to hear stories of how well our sweet baby’s are doing at home. May God continue to bless you and your family. Thanks again for sharing!

  • Reply May 11, 2012

    Renee

    Beautiful post that brought tears to my eyes. I found out about 2 years ago that children would not be in my future and by then the clock was ticking and last year we made the decision that it would be just the two of us here on out. I am glad to hear your little miracle is doing well and thriving. Have a Great Weekend & Happy Mother’s Day:)

  • Reply May 24, 2012

    Nikki

    wow, what a beautiful reminder to cherish ‘the daily grind’ of mothering. thanks for sharing!

  • Reply June 2, 2012

    Teresa

    Thank you so much for sharing your story and for allowing us to share in your joy! God bless you!

  • Reply June 10, 2012

    JES

    Amazing story, thank you for sharing! May God continue to bless your family!

  • Reply June 15, 2012

    caren

    I found you via BYW 2.0. I’m in awe of your story, and the beautiful way you told it. You’re such a talented writer. I hope you’re writing books. You should.

    I’m so glad your son is well.

    XO

  • Reply June 26, 2012

    Jackie A.

    Visiting for the first time and just read your story. I am so thankful it had a happy ending – he’s definitely full of life! God bless.

  • Reply July 2, 2012

    Rebecca

    I totally understand that otherworldly calm on the first day,when the world is in chaos…I understand it even better now that I have trained to be a maternity/nursery nurse. It is a phenomenon called “taking in” phase where the Mom is instictively focused on her well being, neato survival mechanism.

    My twin girls were born at 29 weeks and spent 10 week in NICU. The experience shaped me forever and I became a Registered Nurse because of it. Devine :)

    Bless your beautiful family
    Bec

  • Reply July 18, 2012

    Kay Wilson

    Haley,

    What a wonderful story, of faith, grace and praise. It is true there are “angels among us””, the nurse that prayed thru the night was God’s appointment for your family. Thank you for sharing your heart. Asher is a beautiful boy and God has a purpose for his life.

    Kay

  • Reply July 26, 2012

    Carrie

    Oh my goodness, what incredible glory this gives to God! You are a strong woman, and your sweet boys are SO blessed to have you as their mother. My goodness, the stories they will tell of you as they grow! You have such a beautiful little boy on your hands. Thank you so much for sharing your story!

  • Reply August 16, 2012

    Mags

    This scenario is exactly like the scenario with my son thirty (30) years ago. The day my husband and I were to take him home, God blessed him with jaundice and remained in the hospital. Thankfully he was in the hospital as he became septic and went into shock and was placed in NICU for nineteen (19) days. As i read your story I relived my son’s story and praised God for both of our positive outcomes. God is Good all the time, and all the time, God is Good. I am so grateful your little guy is doing well.

  • Reply August 20, 2012

    Lois

    I’m teary as I finish reading this post. I work in health care, and reading about the nurse who prayed while you slept, so you COULD sleep…that’s pretty awesome!

  • Reply August 23, 2012

    Lauren

    God is so faithful to finish a good work he has started. Your son has a real purpose in life that God has chosen him to do. The Lord changes evil to good. I could feel your pain, laying on the floor. That’s the only safe spot when you feel like that. God bless your family.

  • Reply November 1, 2012

    Kristen

    I just found your site through the Twitter “recommended followers” and followed the link to your new here page and clicked on a post and then followed the LinkWithin here. A quick little technology journey to find a post that I could have written myself. Our grunty little girl came out 3 weeks early and arrived rather quickly once they broke my water. They never could determine if her lungs were underdeveloped or if she had a touch of pneumonia but she spent the first 12 days of her life in the NICU, transported much in the same scary way your little guy was. Those could be my hospital pictures. Thank you for sharing and I’m so happy that Asher is doing well. My daughter will be one on Sunday and the little peanut she started out as is long gone.

  • Reply November 16, 2012

    Kati

    Just discovered your blog through themomdiggity…what a sweet story…brought me to tears! New life is so precious and always a miracle. Always.

  • Reply December 31, 2012

    Priscila

    This brought me to tears. What a touching story. Thanks for sharing. What a sweet little guy you have there!

  • Reply December 31, 2012

    Flower Patch Farmgirl

    Your words here are the hard and lovely poetry that I like so much. Beautiful, truly. I know this feeling you write of and your words bring me new peace.

    xo

  • Reply February 16, 2013

    Barb

    This is my first time on your site and I stumbled upon this post. I found you through the simple mom podcast. They gave you a shoutout this week. Can I first say that wow I am so happy to see that your little asher is okay now. I am a pediatric nurse at a major university children’s hospital and it is so wonderful to hear the stories of parents and familes like yours. I find that my job is a privledge and feel blessed everyday to take care of families like yours. I agree that it is so easy to take the simple things in life for granted and experiences like this give you a whole new perspective on life and living. I’m so glad I found your site, thank you.

  • […] Asher was born and then was suddenly so sick, I was fine while he was in the hospital and until he was home safe. I was all adrenaline and […]

  • Reply May 9, 2013

    Mary Evelyn SMith

    This post brings back a lot of new mom memories. So happy to see your little man’s happy face.

  • Reply May 28, 2013

    Gillian

    wow. i just came across your blog and saw the link to this post. I was intrigued because i myself have an asher who spent an unexpected stay in the nicu after also being born with “wet lungs”. Our stories are different and my asher’s stay in the nicu ended up much easier and less scary than yours, its just interesting to see these little similarities between people’s lives. And i agree, i don’t forget the miracle that is my asher. just tonight i was thinking about it as i rocked him to sleep :) God bless.

  • Reply May 28, 2013

    Gillian

    Ugh sorry for the strange caps vs non caps. In your comment box, everything is coming up caps to me and it is hard to follow what I’m typing :)

  • Reply June 6, 2013

    Maggie

    Sept of 2004 my oldest, at the age of 2, fell from a second floor window…he was only in the hospital 17 days…should have been 6 months, but that night, that time…him being a walking talking, advanced in math, competative gymnast, all-star basketball player, far hitting baseball player, aggresive soccer player…You never forget that moment when your child lies there in the hospital connected to a bunch of tubes and other than pray there is absolutely nothing you can do to help them…Glad your little man is a -ok…

  • Reply July 25, 2013

    Jessica Blankenship

    My son was born VERy very early! He was born at 24 weeks weighing in at 1 lb 13 oz… everything was such a rush to me.. one minute i’m fine and the next I have to be rushed to the hospital. They checked me and I was dilated 2, and I had to be life flighted to the university of louisville. He had to stay for 3 1/2 months, coming home the day after he was due..

    He is a healthy, happy 6 year old about to start first grade now..but it was scary!

    • Reply July 30, 2013

      Amoli

      tHANKS SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS. i AM JUST AN ANONYMOUS STRANGER OVER THE INTERNET, BUT i CAN RELATE TO EVERY FEELING EMOTION YOU WROTE ABOUT. fIRST OFF, SO GLAD THAT BABY aSHER CAME OUT OF IT HALE AND HEARTY.

      nOW MY STORY IN SHORT IS SIMILAR TO YOURS. mY LITTLE GUY WAS BORN IN sEP 2011, AND WAS RUSHED TO THE nicu ON THE DAY WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DISCHARGED FOR A SUSPECTED INFECTION SINCE HIS BODY TEMPERATURE DROPPED AND HE LOST MUSCLE TONE FOR A MOMENT. i HAD AN ACTIVE gROUP b STREP URINARY INFECTION IN MY 37TH WEEK AND WAS HOPITALIZED FOR IT. i WAS GIVEN ANTIBIOTICS IN LABOR AND HE WAS A C-SECTION BUT i STILL ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT HIM GETTING gbs IN UTERO. wHEN HE WAS ADMITTED TO THE nicu, i IMAGINED THE WORSE EARLY ONSET gbs, THAT COULD LEAD TO BLOOD SEPSIS, MENINGITIS AND HE ALMOST ALWAYS FATAL IN A NEWBORN. i WAS GRAPPLING WITH THE THOUGHT THAT MY SWEET, PERFECT AND PRECIOUS BABY WAS FACING A HORRIBLE PROGNOSIS. i COULD NOT SLEEP, HIS SWEET INNOCENT FACE IS WHAT MY CLOSED EYES WOULD SEE, MY EYELIDS WERE SWOLLEN FROM THE TEARS THAT WOULD NOT STOP. dECIDED TO SPEND THE NEXT DAY IN THE HOSPITAL CHAPEL(i AM NOT EVEN A RELIGIOUS PERSON), i THOUGHT THAT IS THE ONLY WAY i COULD BREATHE, COPE. gOD ANSWERED MY PRAYERS, ALL HIS BLOOD CULTURES CAME NEGATIVE, THEY SAID THEIR PROGNOSIS WAS HE WAS JUST A LITTLE DEHYDRATED. i AM INDEBTED TO SOME KIND SOULS LIKE SOME NURSES AND DOCTORS THAT SUPPORTED AND COMFORTED ME THROUGH THAT FOR LIFE.

  • Reply August 5, 2013

    Tracy S.

    Hayley,
    I know this is an old post, but you still made me cry! No, you will never forget those emotions. My premie was born twenty-four years ago and seeing all the NICU paraphernalia still takes me right back there. I, too, had peace that passed all understanding. I KNEW the moment she cried aloud in the delivery room that she would be okay, even though she didn’t even weigh 2.5 lbs.
    Here we are, 24 years later, and she does in fact live with a disability as a result of her early birth. She is, however, definitely okay—independent, in grad school, traveling all over the world. God is good.

    • Reply October 2, 2013

      Kathleen Harvey

      Wow…amazing testimony of God’s healing in your sweet boy, glad I stumbled into it. You are a strong woman Haley!

  • Reply October 7, 2013

    Rena

    Wow. I came to read about your ebook and ended up finding this story. I am sitting at work a blubbery mess. I love that you called him your Ebenezer. My son was also in the hospital for a month and I thank God every time I look at him. If you want to read his story, I wrote it all out on my blog http://thegirlwiththesmile.com/2012/11/19/simons-story-part-one/. Thanks for sharing Asher’s miracle story. I know God has big plans for him. :)

    Rena
    thegirlwiththesmile.com

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  • Reply October 19, 2014

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    It stands to reason – The more shirts you order, the lower the price per shirt.
    This means the memory of your reunion will always be with everyone.
    Check the web and you will find many options for
    custom vinyl printing on shirts and other types of garments.

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