There is something really beautiful about not doing it all.
The secret thing is this…you can live with margin and choose to do what is of highest value to you.
When you consciously let go of the expectation of doing things you don’t value, you create room to do the things that are important to you.
Many of you said that you don’t clean as often as you feel like you should. Maybe, though, you clean as often as feels important to your family. Maybe the opportunity cost of spending a Tuesday cooped up indoors cleaning is too high. Maybe your family feels more at home in the great outdoors than enclosed in the shiniest, spot free windows in the neighborhood. Maybe, then, it is more important and more loving to your family to forgo the spotless windows in favor of an afternoon hiking or making snow angels or laying in the grass.
I don’t buy organic or fuss over groceries because since I had baby #2, it was of highest importance to me that I always be able to grocery shop with all of my kids in tow. I had to have the confidence that I could accomplish the task and accomplish it quickly. I knew I would never do it if I made it more complicated than it needed to be. When we lived in Charlotte, I didn’t have family around and I didn’t have the luxury of handing off the kids to grocery shop in peace. I can do that now, but because I have a good system I can do it easily and quickly–even with all 3 boys.
What I am saying is this…don’t let your choices make you feel inferior. Use your power of choice to create room in your life to pursue what is important to you, what makes you tick, what gets you going, what makes you passionate. Saying no to one thing allows you to do something else. Refusing to do something out of obligation or guilt allows you to put time into what you value and what your family values.
Don’t let society, or blogs, or other women, or the way your mom did things rule the way you live your life. Don’t mop your floor everyday because your mother would wag her finger at you if you didn’t…mop that floor everyday ONLY (only, only, only!!) if you feel like singing while you do it, if it makes you come alive. Do things because you actively make the decision to do them, not passively because you feel like you ought.
My kids dress in simple clothes because being able to be out to door in 15 minutes with no gnashing of teeth is incredibly important to me. My house is not spotless because I choose to pursue Tiny Twig and the women who gather here (this is NOT a cleaning blog, after all!). I don’t buy organic because I don’t have a money tree and I like to grocery shop very quickly and reliably.
Choosing to make time to read a book or do a craft or pursue a passion is not idle. It is not unworthy. You do not need to be dictated by our high-performing, high-achieving, never-resting, always-moving society. No one gets a medal on their deathbed for cleanest showers.
Pursue the things and ideas and people you love. Let go of the things that hinder that pursuit. After all, sometimes crumbs on the floor make people feel at home…able to just be in a place and with a person that isn’t perfect either.
came across this old favorite and it was too good not to share!