Asher, my life, Our Boys

update on asher

Asher, my third son.  Asher, named blessed, fortunate, and full of abundant life.  Imagine that.  Asher, blessed.  Asher, fortunate.  Asher.  Full and whole.  Having an abundant life.

Imagine that.  My son.  Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.  Born sick as could be.  Imagine that.

I didn’t.  I knew his labor would likely be fast and furious–like his two brothers’ before him.  I was fairly certain that he’d have a head full of hair, as the other two had.  I was certain that his daddy would adore him from the first moment.  I didn’t imagine things wouldn’t go well, that we wouldn’t be just as blessed and fortunate as with our first boys.

Really, though, we were blessed.  Of course, we were blessed.  It is impossible not to be blessed when tiny feet and that baby soft skin are involved.  But, oh, we did not feel fortunate.

Asher was sick.  He was so sick.  His tiny body couldn’t handle the immense infection that had invaded for some reason–we still don’t know the cause.  The doctor’s words, “septic shock” and “body functions shutting down” still ring fuzzy in my ears.  I still feel the sting of the hot sobs.  I still remember wanting to get as close to the floor as possible, feeling like the world was spinning and wasn’t to be trusted.  Things were not right.  This baby, my baby, he should be well.

Today, as he is cutting his first teeth, as he is navigating the living room army style, as he giggles with abandon–I look back on the days he spent in the NICU.  I remember the wracking heartbreak, the visceral fear, the uncontainable grief of those first hours and days.

I re-read through the comments on the posts from his time in the hospital…remembering how each prayer was answered in such a timely and direct way.  Some of the women who commented are dear friends now–and I had forgotten they had been praying for my Asher. Gosh, I left out so much of the emotion and seriousness of that time…but, it floods back to me–even reading the “brave faced” and “optimistic” words.

Those days were a blur, but I know–without a doubt–that Asher, our sweet #3, he is blessed.  He is fortunate.  He is full of abundant life.  We are so fortunate, so blessed beyond measure.

once sick, and now so well

an excellent piece for parents with babies in the NICU

Washington Times article about tips for what to expect in the NICU

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  • Reply Holly January 13, 2012 at 8:18 am

    praising the Lord with you today while I feed breakfast to my two, tiny miracles. we are so blessed. the nicu is such a scary, safe place. nicu parents need so much support because it is such a fragile environment.

    • Reply Tiny Twig January 13, 2012 at 1:11 pm

      holly–you were such an encouragement when Ash was in the NICU. just knowing you had been there before. thanks for staying thankful with me. :)

  • Reply Kristina January 13, 2012 at 8:21 am

    I don’t think many of us mull over the “what ifs” until we have had a child in the NICU. I remember specifically telling my mom when I was pregnant with my fourth (my #2 was septic in the NICU) that “I have no idea what I’m going to do if we have another NICU baby, but the chances of that are so slim I’m not even going to think about it.”

    Lo and behold, Bella was born and sent to the NICU for the same inexplicable reasons.

    So very glad that Asher is doing well. He is quite a cutie. Thanks for keeping us updated on the little one we prayed for :-)

    • Reply Tiny Twig January 13, 2012 at 1:14 pm

      oh–have Mercy. twice?? how is that possible? they have assured me that it wouldn’t happen again–but you just never know. glad your littles are well now. so glad.

  • Reply Cheri @ Sharing Cheri January 13, 2012 at 9:37 am

    Praise God, for he is good!

    • Reply Tiny Twig January 13, 2012 at 1:15 pm

      He is Good. I hope I could say the same if Asher hadn’t ended up getting better. “…and if not…”

  • Reply Jess January 13, 2012 at 10:27 am

    Awesome :] Praise God. Great blog!!! xo

    • Reply Tiny Twig January 13, 2012 at 1:16 pm

      it WAS awesome. it IS awesome. i’ll never forget the giddiness i felt when Husband got to call and tell me we could go get him and bring him home. ahhh! such sweet joy. thanks for the encouragement, Jess!

  • Reply kara January 13, 2012 at 10:49 am

    Our God is TRULY and FAITHFULLY amazing! I love this story of your son and family because it shows how the Lord just carried you all in His hands. I remember praying and praying for you all…God DOES answer prayer and it is beautiful. He is precious and I am so glad you are enjoying his giggles just 7 months later!

    • Reply Tiny Twig January 13, 2012 at 1:17 pm

      He is faithfully amazing isn’t he? I think if I can stand on one quality of God it is His steadfast faithfulness. He is, was, and will be.

  • Reply mandie January 13, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    Oh so happy that your boys are ALL well. that Asher is so beautiful. so happy for your family, friend. :)

    love you!

    • Reply Tiny Twig January 13, 2012 at 1:17 pm

      mandie, you are a gem. that’s all.

  • Reply Kristin January 13, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    So thankful Asher is well and whole now. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to realize how wonderfully God has blessed us. Don’t you wish we could learn our lessons without having to dip so low, though?! Praise God you are able to look back with thankful hearts. :-)

    • Reply Tiny Twig January 14, 2012 at 6:40 pm

      i do wish that it didn’t take the valleys…but, sometimes you have to be in the valley to look up.

  • Reply Megan at SortaCrunchy January 14, 2012 at 6:57 am

    I cannot even imagine the absolute terror and panic that must have come with those doctors’ words. What a helpless feeling that must have been. Joining you in gratitude for healing and hope.

  • Reply beth @ the city January 14, 2012 at 10:02 am

    What a miracle! I don’t have kids, but my own mother died from Septic shock, so I know the seriousness of it quite well. I am grateful God restored your sweet son to health! It’s encouraging to hear of His provision.

    • Reply Tiny Twig January 14, 2012 at 6:41 pm

      oh, that’s heartbreaking. it’s a hard thing for a body to overcome.

  • Reply Jenny Meyerson January 14, 2012 at 8:28 pm

    Asher is blessed indeed. Such a joyous outcome. God has amazing plans for this little man. I just feel it.

  • Reply Cat Moore January 14, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    Was just reading about Asher, Rebbecca’s son, in the Bible last night. And, when I read the name Asher and what it meant, I thought it was such a cool name. :) God is oh so good! Praising with you today. xoxo, cat

  • Reply annie January 14, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    I am so glad to hear Asher is doing so well!

  • Reply angela January 15, 2012 at 6:07 am

    Our tiny, precious, grandsons were born Oct. 25, 2011. They spent 30+ days in the NICU and are home growing and doing great. Love the attachment of things to know in the NICU. It was our first experience and we learned so much. We learned about the kindness of others. We learned that nurses stay longer on their shift to help wherever needed. We learned that male nurses give daddies t-shirts when they love the one he has on. We learned that they TRULY want Nonny and Poppy to visit and they love it when mommy and daddy come for feedings. We learned that there are so many people who are hurting. And we learned to pray in a new, more desperate way. For us, the NICU was a new beginning. We are so very grateful. It did something to our hearts.

  • Reply Stefanie January 16, 2012 at 5:45 pm

    Praising the Lord with you that Asher is a well & happy boy! I so relate to all of the feelings you described even though Michaela was in the NICU for only two days (& then back in the hospital 5 weeks later for 4 more days). There was only one thing that got me through those scary, heart-wrenching moments, pleading with the Lord for her life, and that was His grace. Nothing more, nothing less. Thank you so much for posting an update…I was praying for you all & sweet little Asher while he was in the NICU. God is so great!!:)

  • Reply Jennifer Campbell January 16, 2012 at 10:16 pm

    I just discovered your blog via Pinterest- awesome stuff! My heart goes out to you for what you had to go through with precious Asher- and I rejoice with you that he is now healthy! I can appreciate a mother’s anguish when things go wrong, and the overwhelming joy when they go right again. Having had two very sad endings to two beautiful “stories” just in the past year, it is so refreshing to read a happy “ending” for once. It reminds me that our God is a good and merciful God, and He does answer prayers- so, thank you. I needed that.

  • Reply gabriella January 17, 2012 at 11:27 pm

    It is amazing looking back and seeing all God has done!

  • Reply Claudia January 18, 2012 at 9:09 pm

    I love your blog. And I love this post. Especially knowing exactly what you mean by wanting to get closer to the floor, or remembering how you sort of had to step back from deep emotion to be able to tell the story at that moment in time. I still feel emotion flood back when I go to that place in my mind. The hospital. My beautiful boy. I love reading real life, because I don´t know how to blog any other way and because it makes me realize how truly “not-alone” we are. This was my piece of blessing:
    big hug from mexico

  • Reply Brooke January 22, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    I just stumbled randomly across your blog. I am one of the nurses that took care of Asher. I am so very happy to see he is doing well. Your blog looks like lots of fun. I can’t wait to look around.

    • Reply Tiny Twig January 30, 2012 at 4:15 pm

      no way! brooke…that is crazy. how is that possible?! what a small, small world. thank you for taking SUCH good care of him. he is doing so well. NICU nurses are the most amazing, self-sacrificing, brave, and special group of people i’ve come in contact with. thank you a million times would not be enough.

  • Reply Megan January 26, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    I recently discovered your blog, and this entry really touched me. My sweet boy is also a NICU veteran and is now the busiest 17 month old this side of the Mississippi. I still can’t really think about the day he was born; something about it being both the best and worst day of my life is too much to comprehend. I am so happy your Asher is thriving. He is lovely.

    • Reply Tiny Twig January 30, 2012 at 4:00 pm

      megan, thanks for saying hi. i think there is a special club for mamas of NICU babies. if not…let’s make one. ;)

  • Reply Erica April 2, 2012 at 9:21 am

    Hi Haley,

    As with some other readers, you don’t know me personally but I have commented once or twice.

    The update on Asher is wonderful! (and full of wonder). I actually began following your blog because of Asher. I don’t know how or whom, but it was social media and a blog, post , recommendation..I don’t know what, that pointed me to your journey on Asher’s progress. As I am a pediatric ER nurse (in real life).. I followed his journey with compassion, curiosity. I checked in to see how he was doing and was delighted as well when he was able to go home.

    Of course as you got back to regular blog business, I fell in love with your blog and look forward to reading much more. You are one of my hero’s and Asher is luck to have you as a mommy. (Of course your whole family is blessed to have you). :D

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